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You told me that you love me
You told me that you want me
You told me that ‘your mine’
But baby, I have a question in mind

When you tell me that you love me
When you tell me that you want me
When you tell me that ‘your mine’
How Long will you love me
How long do you want me
How long will you say ‘your mine’

Cuz baby, I want a guy
With the words forever
On the tip of his tongue

I want you to look me in the eye
With out any hesitation
Tell me that ‘your mine’
Tell me that you want me
Tell me that you love me
With the words forever
Right behind
On the tip of your tongue
©2008-2010 *KikuFire
:iconkikufire:

Author's Comments

The Full Tittle is this: I Want A Guy With The Words Forever On The Tip Of His Tongue

Yes I know its a long ass tittle, but I really liked the idea.

I wrote this out of both inspiration from an out side sources and my own feelings.

First off, Yes I purposely put the phrase 'words forever' I know its not grammatically correct but all well.

Second, in the past part of the poem, I purposely reversed the lines of the words.

I hope you like it, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IN A COMMENT!


I love you Leon *kisses you* forever babe

Critiques


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Comments


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:iconnikumaru:
Great use of repetition :) And great sentiment, yeah... I know what you mean... :aww:
A title like 'the words forever on the tip of his tongue' would not fit in the submission form, either, would it? Just that it's more the to the point bit of the title ^^;

--
:peace::pirate: Suddenly... there's no such thing as a sad, cloudy day... :arc:

:evillaugh: + :#1: = :rightfulsinisterworlddominatio n: (with 'sinister' meaning 'left-handed' )
:iconvixrayne:
Feels almost song like, I like this.

--
~Your fears are mine then we are afraid together...~~~
~~~
Please visit me and stay for a bit [link]
:iconcelestialfairy79:
I like it and I agree with VixRayne, it has song quality written all over it.

--
~We all have wings~
CFairy79
:iconkikufire:
Thanks, i was afraid that it would be bad cuz of that, the repetition. ^_^
no, it wouldn't, but your right, it would be more to the point ^^'

--
Your the greatest babe,
perfections and imperfections,
I love you Leon,
I’ll love you and be with you to the end of all ends,
and though the birth of all births. :heart:
:iconkikufire:
lol in my mind it was like a song actually and i'm glad you do ^_^

--
Your the greatest babe,
perfections and imperfections,
I love you Leon,
I’ll love you and be with you to the end of all ends,
and though the birth of all births. :heart:
:iconkikufire:
lol well thats good cuz in my mind it was in the format of a song, like i could hear someone singing it

--
Your the greatest babe,
perfections and imperfections,
I love you Leon,
I’ll love you and be with you to the end of all ends,
and though the birth of all births. :heart:
:iconcelestialfairy79:
hey there is something you could do with your writing, become a song writer.

--
~We all have wings~
CFairy79
:iconkikufire:
lol nah, I dont know anything about writing songs and I like poetry

--
Your the greatest babe,
perfections and imperfections,
I love you Leon,
I’ll love you and be with you to the end of all ends,
and though the birth of all births. :heart:
:iconcelestialfairy79:
that is what songs are, are poems and life experiences, silly! But hey stick with what you know is what I always say! ttyl

--
~We all have wings~
CFairy79
:iconclaudiacasanova:
omg, I looove this!

--
To be or not to be?

meh, lets just eat some pancakes and call it a day.

Clubs: *RawEm0tion ~PoeticPeace ~PoeticPath ~da-library ~Writers-Guild-DA *degrees-of-love *WordCount *LiteraryUnderground

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January 12, 2008
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